Gates, Arthur Bryants or Taberna de Pelon?

There's a little town near Segovia that boasts of their specialty. Suckling Pig is a dish whose flavor has been perfected for nearly 500 years. It comes at a steep price. If you cheap-out like me, you only get the head.



All I can say is that when my plate arrived in that greasy basement bar I was speechless. Compassion for the tiny thing fought with savage hunger that had been nurtured on the tender pork delicacies of KC BBQ. Before I lost my nerve I began to eat. The crackling skin tasted divine. The meat was moist and tender, especially around the cheek and under the jaw. The eyes had goody on the outside of them. What could I do? I eat baby-back ribs with no problem - do I cower now when "faced" with the culinary truth? No...



Pork has an interesting history in Spain. For 800 years, the Muslim rulers of Spain did not eat it, nor did the many Sephardic Jews that lived here. Following the very vengeful Christian Reconquest around 1490 A.D. It was a crime to be a Muslim or a Jew. A good way to protect your family and your assets was to be seen enjoying a good pork dish in public. If it was pork you were eating, you could not be accused of being a Muslim or a Jew. I, however, am Pentecostal and I like my pork - even if it is split and fried on a George Foreman Grill.

I'll Never Leave...

I would say that my anger has become more than a distraction. I've had it for awhile, but only lately have I tried to respect it by facing the facts and digging deeper into the cause. When I say "I'll Never Leave" I'm not referring to Spain or any other physical location. I'm referring to the Family of God. But why the anger?

We all know what a good family should be. As we grow older we may realize that a good family is not a perfect family, but being resilient during conflicts of the very worst sort, and being able to forgive and continue to give and receive unconditional love are what seems to be the true definition of a good family. Having a large helping of stubborn loyalty certainly helps.

When I look at my church family, I see many valuable relationships that help me grow, give me comfort and great enjoyment. Most people reading this fall into that category and have been true and trusted friends (Jesus among them!) For me, these relationships define my relationship with the church and not much else.

When I was in third grade, a made friends with a PK (pastor's kid) named Hank. Hank's Dad was the pastor at Argentine Assembly of God. I became a bus ministry kid and received a small Royal Ranger T-shirt. This was not my first exposure to the pentecostal faith. During the middle of the last century, my grandparents both went to Wyandotte Tabernacle, my parents met and married there. As a child I remember dozing on the wooden pews at that white, gothic inner-city building in the heart of KCK. So, I've always really been part of the family. Many of us share a similar family heritage that reaches back for decades.

Now I'm a missionary for the Assemblies of God, some would say we are the largest Pentecostal group in the world. But I'm not sure if that is important. I've lasted this long with the A/G only because I'm loyal to family. The pentecostal church still claims me but I'm still a sinner who has always thought that "being called to a higher standard" as a missionary borders on heretical pomposity. Sometimes I think about these things when I wake up. This can't be healthy! Lately the cycle has been peaceful dreams cut short, intrustion of anger and ugly grudges, doubts in myself, a confused prayer for serenity, and a search for mental space later in the day.

Here are some of the things that haunt and hound me: The boxes I have checked to get my minister credentials. The suits I have worn over my tattoos (described as "lesions" in my medical records). The fact that my first name, Darwin, a name given to my father and passed to me, is taboo within my denomination. The assumed compliance with the political "Official Position Papers" of the Assemblies of God. Having my spiritual and intellectual liberty dictated (or strongly impressed upon me) from the pulpit. Being in a Fellowship that increasingly functions as a sacred denomination. Wondering where my fear of creating a stumbling block for others became unwitting subservience to insecure extroverts who are scared of Unicorns and Halloween. Giving up many personal rights within the A/G that I protected for them as a young paratrooper.

I know that much of these grievences are weighted down by my own bitterness and insecurities, but Springfield, and indeed, the entire Pentecostal Family, who claims me as one of their own, would disavow me for very minor transgressions, be they vices, or even intellectual ideas. I live looking over my shoulder. I have to answer very pointed questions on paper at least once a year and verbally assent to them in public gatherings. This is not how a family operates...

So I play outside. It's cold. My nose runs. I sweat from running and shouting with my friends, playing games, whispering secrets, waiting until I can come inside.

The Three P Philosophers:

I like these guys. Google 'em to sharpen your iron and - who knows - you may learn more about my core inspirations than is prudent.
(I DOUBLE-DOG-DARE YOU...) What books are under YOUR bed?


That Math Dude PYTHAGORAS (582BC - 507BC):

"It is only necessary to make war with five things; with the maladies of the body, the ignorances of the mind, with the passions of the body, with the seditions of the city and the discords of families."
"Every man has been made by God in order to acquire knowledge and contemplate."
"Rest satisfied with doing well, and leave others to talk of you as they please."


That French Guy BLAISE PASCAL (1623 - 1662):

"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction."
"Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth."
"I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room."


That Cool American THOMAS PAINE (1737 - 1809):

"When my country, into which I had just set my foot, was set on fire about my ears, it was time to stir. It was time for every man to stir."
"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead."
"Such is the irresistible nature of truth that all it asks, and all it wants, is the liberty of appearing."

Maybe you will see the sun.

It is just after noon here on a Saturday. Most of you should still be asleep in Kansas. If you are not, I hope you are praying this morning at 5:30am. Let me tell you about the Sun so far. I don't see it, but I know it is here because misty clouds do not give off this much light by themselves. This weather is comforting none-the-less and wooly in the way it guides a person to a state of warm tranquility.



My mother bought my father a terry-cloth bathrobe a couple of years ago. She got them for $10 a piece because they were all XXXL. One was a blackwatch pattern. My Dad looked like a wizard in it. He gave it to me. If you don't have one... go out and buy a XXXL terrycloth bathrobe this very moment (there is still enough winter left!) Walking up and down the staircases past the moody wind breathing through the windows this morning makes me feel secure. I like these kind of mornings. The hauntings are at a safe distance, but you can see them if you look on the horizon. Here inside is a tranquility beside the storm, like falling asleep in the backseat of the car as a kid, lulled by odd reflections from streetlights creating heiroglyphs and patterns on the back of the driver's seat. Guess where you are through half-closed eyes.

I am not a missionary

Officially, according to the powers on high at AGWM and a recent "sensitive Email" we are to be referred to as "career personnel." We do not work for "Assemblies of God World Missions." We work for "the company." Yes, we still function as missionaries but because of the sensitive political environment in the world at present we have entered the vague grayish world of Alias and 24 sounding titles. I admit that there is a touch of spook-stuff to this that I like. But what concerns me is the ease in which AGWM changed the designation. It was probably a good idea, but who brought up the idea, and who came up with the excellent vague titles? I'm sure that there was a need for shelter. I just read where the "Three Tier House Church" in China was brought under pressure from the People's Party and the followers were rounded up with "cattle-prods" according to one news-story. Lest we get too sentimental about persecution lets just consider that fact the "Three Tier House Church" was responsible for nearly 30 reprisal killings of a competing Christian sect there known as the "Lightning Church". Uh... help... someone is turning the Good News into an international espionage kung-fu gang war.