A Certificate of Window Tinting

I have been in charge of six vehicles this year. These are all Speed-The-Light vehicles that are of varying ages and abilities. They are my sheep and I am their shepherd. Many days I would rather wear a duct-tape thong than attend to my flock. Part of my portfolio is to keep them running and legal. Despite my many preparations for harrowing vehicle inspections by uniformed civil servants, not all make the grade on the first try. The Chrysler van I circled below did not pass because some of the windows were tinted.

During this most recent inspection, I yearned for duct-tape undergarments as two young men with alot of state authority demanded to see my certificate for the tinted windows after peering at them and through them and discussing them quite fervently between themselves. I fumbled through the folder of documents I had, none of which satisfied them. They assumed I couldn't understand and yelled a little louder. Eventually I had to leave the inspection station without the Chrysler passing the new EU legal requirements. When I leave the local "ITV" inspection station I am usually very relieved or very frustrated. But I always smile at the rough looking prostitute at the entrance to the industrial park. She has been sitting out in the rain quite a bit lately. In Spain, prostitution is legal - soliciting one is not.

Yesterday I went with the IMM lawyer to a Madrid Chrysler dealer to see if they could provide us with a document stating that although the vehicle was purchased in Belgium ten years ago, the tinted windows were part of the Chrysler package at that time. The man behind the counter did not want to help but offered to remove the "irregulated lamination" for 300 Euros. We argued that the windows did not have lamination on them. The tint was actually the color of the glass itself. He offered to replace the offending windows for more money. We have now decided to drive to another inspection site in Castilla La-Mancha in the hopes that our IMM lawyer can sweet talk the fellows in uniform a bit. This will cost more time. However, I have prepared a certificate just in case these inspectors demand one:


In other news of the week, well... we knew it wouldn't be long. Some "unemployed" types showed up at the new IMM building site and offered their "protection services." The welders there at the time yelled explitives at them and chased them off the property. The welders warned us that this is a common scam and that the protection fellows would be back some night soon to show that "we needed protection" by damaging the property. Indeed, the next morning the gate was ripped off the wall. The men came back yesterday to offer their now much-needed "services" again, and were chased off. To make matters worse, they have now learned that we rent the building next door. We are quickly trying to set-up a lighting system now. We are too cheap to hire a security guard for a week. The story is not over as of yet...



These men say perhaps my sheep need protection. I'm not worried. I hope they steal the Chrysler. I have left it unlocked... I wouldn't want to waste more precious time driving it into their little camp while they are out visiting ours.